I Hate My School!

My school is giving me the most difficult time about this Leave of Abscence. They have the ability to deny my request and I've been on tenderhooks for days waiting for their response. I've already bugged them to the extent that I'm sure they are so utterly annoyed with me that they would refuse me just on the basis of spite. If they refuse me, I may just have to take an incomplete on the class or something. I'm not sure. The school is for students who are financially well to do, even after paying all their undergraduate tuition bills, and thus do not need to work, can pay for high rent Boston apartments and have loads of free time on their hand. That is the opposite of me. I work full-time, can barely afford the tuition and commute from a long distance, free time is precious to me and I can only dole it out in small amounts. I feel like this school does not understand me whatsoever and that I'm not getting what I need out of it. I may even consider a withdrawl, but I think my anxiety is what is speaking right now. I'm so anxious and nervous and depressed even people at work have been coming up to me asking me what's wrong? I can't wait until this is all over.

~Raquelle~

I'm doing it!

I'm taking a Leave of Abscence from school for one semester. I submitted the necessary paperwork today and now I'm waiting for a yea or nay. I won't get all my money back, but I'll get most of it. So I will have until May to really focus on work, my physical problems (hypoglycemia, back & neck problems, etc.) and my personal issues. It would be a shame to continue the semester and do a half-assed job at it. Plus endure all the stress and worry of school on top of everything else. I would spread myself thin and not accomplish anything worth accomplishing.

This is a big decision and I hope its for the best. I really want to take the opportunity to use this time for something worthwhile so that I don't look back and regret time lost for school. Wish me luck!

 

I Need a Pick Me Up

I went to my first class for this semester last night and was horrifyingly disappointed. I'm really contemplating not finishing the MA program. And for me to say that is very unusual because I'm not a quitter and I dread failure. But this program is really not what I thought it was. I was hoping to get real inside knowledge into the industry but what I'm getting is a lot of low quality busy work. Granted I've only taken two courses so far, and only one class of my third, but I've paid for those classes and I don't feel like I came out of them learning anything useful. ::sigh::
Today I really needed a pick me up. Some Chet Baker music, a good book to snuggle up to and something warm to drink.

The Pain is More Bearable When...

As I hinted at in the previous post, it turns out that I didn't come out completely unscathed from my November accident. Actually, I've been experiencing neck, back and chest pain and had to go to the chiro for an adjustment. My chiro says all the pain is centered exactly around the areas that the seat belt rests on the body. And because of the impact of the crash and the fact that I knew it was going to happen, and my body tensed up, the pain I'm feeling now is conducive to what happened almost two months ago. Sheesh! And I thought it was all over.

But all is not lost! I got some amazingly good news today. It's been 2 years since I've been at my current job, and today was my yearly review. Yours truly not only got a raise (2-1/2 times more than the raise I got last year) but I also got a promotion. I don't really get any added responsibilities, I have enough as it is, but I do get a new title and the raise coincides with the new elevated position. Hooray! Makes my aches and pains all the more bearable.

Screwed

I feel like I've only been posting sad entries lately, but it's been a tough week for me. I just found out that I had been scammed out of $40. Albeit in 2003, but all the same. I forked over $20 in a donation to an organization that was accepting donations for a cancer fund. They claimed to be supported by airline companies that we're giving them free travel vouchers in order to get people to make donations. I went to the website, which I got from a very legit source, and filled out a form which I mailed with a $20 check. I thought, well, even if the voucher thing doesn't pan out, I'm still giving to a good cause. (Ahh, I'm kicking myself as I type this). Then I got another notice asking for another $20 check for the voucher. Okay strange, but I still did it because I still trusted my legit source (I'm getting bruises from all the kicking). Well, I got a Reservation Request Form that I had up to 2 years to fill out with my ideal destinations and time and they would reply to me with lodging costs and what they could give me in vouchers. So the months went by and after much pestering from my mother, I finally sent in the Request form. Never heard a word. Nada! Zip. Good old mother dear told me I'd been had. In the back of my mind I knew she was right, but I needed proof. Which I got today from this website. Now, if you'll excuse me I'll go hide into the abyss of my shame! Maybe I'll climb out tomorrow to tell you all about the physical injuries I received from my November accident.

If for any reason, you would like to be depressed...

Please watch this movie. It will fill you with a profound sense of shame and a yearning to go hug your mom.

Please read this book. It will make you think that life is desparately unfair and potential suicidal thoughts may surface!

Godspeed Shelley Winters

Shelley Winters (1920-2006)

Great Minds Read Alike

It's been a busy week for me. I spent the last two days looking at amazing new children's books that will be out on the market starting September of this year. I'm so amazed by the power of imagination from all different types of people whether they be writers, editors, artists and designers. The coming together of great minds is bound to create amazing results. Granted some of the books I thought were pretty bleh. But of course, I'm a picky girl when it comes to books.

However, one of the things that I realized during this recent 2-day conference, is that my reading skills are pretty weak. It's very rare that I read a whole book in one day. It usually takes me 2-5 days and sometimes weeks and months, all depending on length, vocabulary, depth of writing, etc. Anna Karennina took me a whole summer! I know this is slow, but I didn't think it was that bad. Until, that is, I heard someone say that they read a 560 page book in one sitting. One sitting? No breaks? Not even trips to the bathroom? I don't think I could manage digesting 560 pages in one day. I don't even know if I'd want to? I like to savor books and enjoy them. But it did make me realize something, especially if I'm going to make book publishing my career, I really have to read faster. I don't want to learn to speedread but I can't take my sweet time. My slow reading skills may be the reason why my homework this past semester took so long to do. The bulk was reading and getting it all done took too much time. So I really want to strive to better my reading skills in 2006. I plan to read more books and create strict deadlines for myself! I may need to do exercises to increase my attention span as that's one of my main difficulties.

I'm So Proud of Myself Already!

In my attempt to become a responsible, self-sufficient, independent human being, today I gave myself my first very big adult task of 2006. I'm going to my income tax report all by myself. Yes! Usually, I give all the paperwork to my dad who has his lawyer do all the dirty work. That way I can put all my focus and attention on other things, like filling out those dreaded FAFSA reports for financial aid . This year is different. I'm taking the task upon myself and will be solely responsible for making the IRS very happy. I'm not dismayed by the fact that I'm a financial dunce. I will forge ahead with much confidence and will ask questions and research to learn as much about everything tax that I possibly can.
I've realized that even with all this free time I have in between school semesters, I haven't been blogging much because I don't have much to say. School creates a lot of interesting drama and it's a bit of a slow period at work now. But we are going to be selling our Spring list and launching our Fall list, so starting this week, I'll have lots to do. I've also got some major plans for 2006. I'm trying to get myself psyched up for some really big steps that so far I've been too afraid to take. So I'm sure I'll have a lot more to contribute to my little nook on the net. Stay tuned.

3,000 Miles of Terror!

I haven't had a lot of chances to watch movies lately, so now that I finally have a bit of a break from school, I've been trying to watch as many as possible. Although I am really detesting going out to movie theatres, I bit the bullet and used my Loew's gift card to see Casanova (2005). It was a pretty decent picture with a lot of laughs. Lasse Hallstrom never disappoints. Later at home, I watched some Val Lewton horror films like Cat People (1942), The Curse of the Cat People (1944) and The Seventh Victim (1943). They sound super cheesy and I was deadset against watching them. I could only envision people dressed in poorly made cat costumes, clawing people and pretending to be scary. But after watching a few scenes of Cat People on TCM, I was surprised! Val Lewton was given these cheesy titles and very little money by RKO and in turn made these amazingly intelligent psychological thrillers. I highly recommend watching them.

And one can not speak of psychological thrillers without mentioning the master of them all, Mr. Alfred Hitchcock. By far the best film I've seen in the past few weeks his film Saboteur (1942). I was absolutely blown away. It's about a young aircraft worker named Barry Kane (played by the hunky Robert Cummings) who is framed for sabotaging a military airbase. In the midst of a fire, a malicious man named Frank Fry hands Kane a fire extinguisher full of gasoline. It's taken out of Kane's hands by his friend Ken Mason who tries to put out the fire but instead dies when the blaze gets out of control. Fry disappears and Kane gets blamed for Ken's death and for sabotage. He goes across the country looking for Fry and escaping the police. But get this, Fry is part of a secret Nazi circle that is planning sabotage all across the US! Kane has to stop this of course and along the way picks up pretty Priscilla Lane, a fashion model and a patriotic American. They journey across the country and end up at this amazing climactic scene at the top of the Statue of Liberty. Isn't that the best plot for a movie? Why don't people make movies like this anymore? Anyways, if you get a chance watch it! It's top notch stuff and personally recommended from yours truly.