Mad Men Season 4 Episode 4

Mad Men Season 4 Episode 3

Spilled Iced Tea and my Mother's admiration

On my list of 30 things for my 30s, I listed the following:.


28. develop a sense of elegance and grace. I'm clumsy on a good day. I could get away with it in my 20s but not in my 30s.

This morning, during my visit with my parents, my mother gave me a McDonald's styrofoam cup filled with unsweetened iced tea. I put the cup on the side table and took the straw out of it's paper sleeve and inserted the straw into the cup. Pretty basic right? Well, not for me. The cup decided to leap off the table, do a half flip in mid-air and spill all of it's contents (ice, lemon, tea, straw) onto the floor. Not one drop of tea was left in that cup.

I was furious. Why the f*** does this kind of s*** happen to me? ALL THE F***ING TIME?!

I burst into tears. How am I ever going to become a 30-something that people take seriously if all I do is fumble with words and objects?

My mother saw me crying and told me to stop it because this wasn't an occasion to shed tears. I explained to her that it was more than just the iced tea. It was about being taken seriously. About being a grown-up.

My mom told me again to stop it. Basically, she told me to shut up. She said that I have done something she has never been able to do. Live alone. She went on to tell me that she admired that I got my own place, moved out, worked, paid my own bills, took care of myself (cooking, cleaning, laundry, everything) and that I didn't have to rely on anybody for anything. My mom is scared if my dad passes away what she'll do to maintain the household. She's never paid a bill in her life and she's always depended on someone to help her out.

Her admiration made me feel really good about myself. And even though I'm moving in with Carlos, I spent the last four years taking care of myself with nobody's help. So I can go into that new phase of my life, knowing that I held my own and I can do it again if need be.

30 things for my early 30s

I have a big move coming up. Everything I've grown accustomed to in the past 4 years will be gone. I will no longer be living by myself, independently. Instead I'll be moving in with my boyfriend and will have to learn how to coexist in the same space with him. In three weeks, I'll be packing up my lovely apartment and moving out. But this isn't the only big change that's happening this year. In November, I'll be hitting a major age milestone when I turn 30.

I've been reading blogs for almost a decade now and a few of the bloggers that I have followed have turned 30 and made 30 lists. Either things they want to accomplish by the age of 30 or during their 30th year or for the duration of their 30s. And of course these lists consist of 30 things. So I thought I would create a list of the 30 things I would like to accomplish during my early 30s. 30 is a fairly big number so I'm going to mix lofty goals with smaller ones to make this realistic.

1.  ommitted due to personal nature (if it happens I'll let you know later)
2. develop some natural gravity. people tend to treat me like I'm a big joke. I don't want that to continue through my '30s.
3. work on my languages. get more proficiency in Spanish and Portuguese and acquire more vocabulary in French and Swedish.
4. finish the 25 books Latinas should read challenge
5. improve my wardrobe. I've been so poor the past few years that I've been holding on to my threadbare clothes. Its time for a change.
6. clear away my student loan debt. I think I'll be able to pay off my credit cards before I turn 30 so I just have this student loan to tackle. Lucky for me, it wasn't that big to begin with so this should be doable.
7. develop a few key organizational skills. I used to be super organized and now I'm just plain scatterbrained. I need to recapture my inner organizational diva.
8. take a vacation. And not just a few days off to work on things. A proper trip somewhere far away.
9. maintain a good relationship with my parents. It's the best it's ever been right at this moment and I want that to continue.
10. be in the best shape of my life. I was in really good shape in early '09. I want to get back to that.
11. run a 5k race.
12. try to read 3 books a week. 2 books for work and 1 book for pleasure.
13. lengthen my attention span. Do various exercises to keep my attention focused longer.
14. watch all the classic films I own, either recorded on VHS tapes and my ever-increasing pile of DVDs. I take for granted that they are there waiting for me.
15. start looking for a house with Carlos
16. exercise several instances of patience. It's unlikely I'll flip a switch and be completely patient but some exercises will help.
17. explore some of the things I loved so much as a child. Following the I'm Remembering Tumblr has made me realize how much the toy & TV culture of the 80s was a part of my life. It must have shaped me some how. I need to figure out how it has.
18. liven up my music library. It's kind of sad right now.
19. get more into Jazz music. Read more about performers and amass a greater collection of works.
20. learn some hairstyles and hair management tricks. My hair is either down with a side split or up in a bun or ponytail. I need to start experimenting.
21. knit. something. anything. How about that knitted tie I keep meaning to make? Maybe I'll attempt a sock? ::gasp::
22. have cocktails at fancy bars in the city. My recent trip to Noir bar has put me in the mindframe of dressing up, going out and having some fancy drinks.
23. frequent my local repertory theaters. I already do this but I need to keep doing this. And more often if I can.
24. keep learning how to cook and keep improving my culinary skills. Raquelle-as-chef is always a work-in-progress.
25. work on my skin. It's always been a mess, thanks to hormones and genetics. There's gotta be something I can instead of just covering it up.
26. visit friends. My friends have been selfish and self-absorbed so I've been avoiding them. It's time to get back in touch.
27. with #26 in mind, I want to focus more on people who are thoughtful, generous and kind and less on people who are selfish and greedy.
28. develop a sense of elegance and grace. I'm clumsy on a good day. I could get away with it in my 20s but not in my 30s.
29. keep up with my blogs. This is important to me as it's an outlet.
30. start my own business. What that will be, I have no idea.

The whole point of this list is that I want to be a better, enhanced, more adult version of myself in my 30s. I want to demonstrate that I can grow as an individual.

Mad Men: Season 4 Episode 2