Goodbye Elena

Me and Elena

Today I said goodbye to my beloved car Elena. She was a beautiful red 2005 Toyota Corolla. I bought her in September of 2004 with the help of my father Rafael. It was the first major purchase I made after I officially started my post-college career. I named her Elena Tverskaya because the initials on the license plate were ET. Elena is my middle name and Tverskaya was from a book I had just read, Anna Karenina.

Elena became the symbol of my new found independence. At first we would take long 1 hour commutes from my home town to my work in the city. Eventually I moved out of my parents' home and into my first apartment. I lived alone and I relied on Elena for everything. She was how I got to work, how I took myself to see my parents, to go to the supermarket, to go to the doctors, to travel and explore. I was living by myself in the city and frankly I was lonely. When I started graduate school I made a promise to myself that I would make new friends. Elena helped me. With her we would go to social gatherings, parties, out to dinner, etc. When I really stepped out of my shell and started dating, I met my future husband Carlos and I drove her to where we had our very first date. In fact, it was standing by Elena when Carlos and I had our very first kiss.

For almost 13 years she proved to be a reliable vehicle and always kept me safe. I endured a scary accident on an off ramp. Elena took the hit and I remained for the most part unhurt. When that happened my father helped me get her muffler fixed and replace the dented bumper. My father helped me a lot with my car. He was there when I bought it. He paid for the vehicle and I tried to pay him back over the years but only got about half way there. I always felt bad that I couldn't completely pay him what I owed. Any time my car needed maintenance, a tune-up, an inspection, an oil change he was there to help me out. Every time I'd drive the car the 40 some odd miles to my parents house, he'd always inspect the vehicle, fill it up with gas and check the oil. My dad wasn't a very expressive guy but he showed me he loved me by his actions more than his words. I lost my father in 2015 and I miss him every day.

I didn't quite realize how attached I had become to Elena and how parting with her would cause me so much anguish. It wasn't until having to give her up became a reality that it hit me. Letting go of Elena meant letting go part of my history with my dad. It also meant moving on from 13 very important years of my life. This wasn't going to be easy.

One last ride with Elena

On Saturday I took one last drive to my hometown with Elena. My mother and I went to my dad's grave. I stopped to thank my dad for all his help over the years with Elena. That car gave me my independence and security.


I had to let Elena go. Overall she was in good condition but work on her brakes and fuel neck would cost thousands of dollars, money that could go to a new vehicle. This was after years of other repairs that would drain my bank account. It was time for a new car. I would have to move on.

One last look at Elena before I drove off the lot.

I know it sounds silly to be so attached to a vehicle but think of how many memories are attached to them. They take us on journeys that become part of the fabric of our lives. Good cars are important. Elena was a good car.

Thank you Pai for Elena and for everything.

San Francisco

How well do I know my husband? Questionnaire

Carlos with his favorite cocktail

I saw this questionnaire on Facebook and thought it was fun. How well do I know my husband Carlos? Read below and find out.

1. He's sitting in front of the TV, what is on? House of Cards, Flip or Flop, Jeopardy!, some car show
2. You're out to eat; what kind of dressing does he get on his salad? Newman’s Own Olive Oil and Vinegar Dressing 
3. What's one food he doesn't like? Mushrooms, eggplant, artichokes, beets, broccoli, cauliflower, pretty much anything I think is delicious. 
4. You go out to eat and have a drink; what does he order? Meatloaf or Pizza. He usually has an iced tea and his favorite cocktail is a Greyhound (grapefruit juice and vodka)
5. Where did he go to high school? A prep school 
6. What is his nickname for you? Pookie 
7. If he was to collect anything, what would it be? Movies on Blu-Ray and Books 
8. What would he eat everyday if he could? His menu for the day would be Breakfast – eggs and tea; Lunch – a sandwich or a slice of pizza; Dinner – meatloaf, corn, mashed potatoes and pickles or cucumber salad 
9. What is his favorite type of sandwich?  An Italian Sub
10. What is his favorite cereal? He eats eggs and drinks hot tea in the morning. No cereal. 
11. What would he never wear? Something ill-fitting 
12. What is his favorite sport? Racecar driving 
13. Who did he vote for? Bernie Sanders 
14. Who is his best friend? Kelly and Danielle 
15. What is something you do that he wishes you wouldn't do? Pass gas 
16. What is his heritage? Colombian and Chilean 
17. You bake him a cake; what kind of cake? Cheesecake 
18. Did he play sports in high school? He was a scrawny teen so I’ll say no. 
19. What could he spend hours doing? Researching Jim Morrison and The Doors 
20. What is one unique talent he has? Putting together a great outfit for himself and for others. He’s got an eye for color and pattern. 

Juan E. Moises (1927-2015)

Juan E. Moises (1927-2015) 

Juan E. Moises died Friday evening January 16, at Mount Sinai - Saint Luke's Hospital in New York City. He passed away peacefully after a long illness, surrounded by loving family members. Juan was 87 years old. He was born in Tamboril, Dominican Republic, on February 22, 1927. He was the son of Juan Moises, a native of Syria, and Juana Perez (born in the Dominican Republic). Juan came to New York City from the Dominican Republic in 1967 to work in the hotel industry. He retired in 1997 after 30 years of dedicated service. Juan is survived by seven daughters: Sarah, Raquel, Elvita, Teresa, Xiomara, Albania, and Margarita. He is also survived by his three sons: Johnny, Arturo, and Alberto. Juan has 14 loving grandchildren, many great grandchildren, and numerous nieces and nephews.

God Speed Juan Moises, My Grandfather/Mi Abuelo

Abuelo and I circa 1991

I don't know exactly when my grandfather Juan was born. Some time in the early 1930s. There is a lot I don't know about my grandfather, mi abuelito, that I wish I had.

My grandfather died tonight at 8:15 pm. I knew he was dying but I was in denial about it. I had a chance to talk to him on the phone but didn't. He was my only living grandfather, my paternal grandfather passed away before I was born, but he was mostly a stranger to me. The first and last time I saw him was in the summer of 1991 when I was 10 years old. I wish I could have spent more time with him but family relations kept us apart. I hope he knew he was loved and that he rests in peace.

Here are some photos from the time I got to visit him in NYC. Descansa en paz abuelito Juan.

My aunt Raquel, my mom, my grandfather and me.

My grandfather top left and my grandmother top third from the left.

My grandfather with his identical twin daughters Sarah (my mom) and Raquel (my aunt and namesake)

Abuelo Juan and me

Words of Wisdom I Live By

 

The 5 Cs of copy editing on a post-it on my cubicle wall.

The 5 Cs of copy editing: Clear, Correct, Concise, Compete, Consistent - I learned the 5 Cs in graduate school when I took a course on copy editing. I never became a copy editor but I found the 5 Cs to be great guidelines for work, especially with e-mails, and for writing. Out of all the Cs, consistency has been the most important to me and it really changed my work ethic.

How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. - Whenever I'm faced with a task or a problem that seems too large to tackle, I think of this. Compartmentalizing the task into smaller steps (or bites) and focusing on each step before moving on to the next, makes the world of difference. It makes the impossible seem possible.

You can’t control what other people do, you can only control what you do. - People "should" but chances are they "don't". Realizing that you can't control people gives you back a lot of control. When you expect others to do certain things or to be controlled by you, you make yourself vulnerable to what their decisions. These words of wisdom are crucial for my sanity and for safe driving!

Once you hit rock bottom, there is no where to go but up. - It seems like a cliche but it's really the universal truth. I always find that at the worst of times happiness is waiting just around the corner.

It's okay to say "no". - Recently, I asked four different advertisers a question. I knew the answer would be "no" but was hoping by chance one or two of the responses would be "yes". None of them actually said "no" yet essentially that was their answer. Instead of saying "no" they decided to antagonize me because I dared ask the question. Their responses were cowardly and unprofessional. Be up front with people and say "no". It's not a sign of weakness. And don't be afraid to say "no" to opportunities you're not interested in or one that will hurt you more than help you.

What words of wisdom do you live by?

The Months of the Year in My Head

The above is a visual representation of how the months of the year are organized in my head. Over the years, I've tried to think of other ways to lay out the months in my mind but nothing ever sticks. This is how it is and probably how it will always be.

January through May line up together all in one neat row.  Everything is orderly and neat until we get to the summer months. That's when things go astray. June is always below May but it's not directly below it. It's always slightly to the right. Sometimes it shifts way over to the right but it usually stays in that spot. June, July and August always stack up one on top of the other vertically. In my youth, those months always represented the freedom from school, warm weather, long days and fun trips. So it makes sense that if my brain were to break up the months that the summer ones would separate from all the others.

September has always been the most difficult for me to visualize. I can never think of it on it's own, only in relation to the month before, August, and the month after, October. I placed it to the left of October in the diagram above but it only exists that way when I'm thinking of September in relation to October. When I'm thinking of September during August, September is right beneath the summer months or skewed slightly to the left but still below. The first 20 days of September are technically summer and school never started right at the beginning of the month anyways so I always thought of September as an extension of summer. September is a transition month for me so it makes sense that it's a more mobile month in my head.

October, November and December follow the same pattern as the earlier months of the year, all in a neat row. Once the days of the year start winding down and we get closer to New Year's, I start building a new diagram in my head of the upcoming months. January is never right next to December. I have to jump up to the top of my diagram to get to it. I think it's interesting that although January follows December, in my mind the two are really far apart from each other.

How do you visualize the months of the year in your head? Do they follow a straight vertical or horizontal line? Do you stack them by season or by threes? Or do you have a weirder arrangement like the one I have above?