Goodbye Elena

Me and Elena

Today I said goodbye to my beloved car Elena. She was a beautiful red 2005 Toyota Corolla. I bought her in September of 2004 with the help of my father Rafael. It was the first major purchase I made after I officially started my post-college career. I named her Elena Tverskaya because the initials on the license plate were ET. Elena is my middle name and Tverskaya was from a book I had just read, Anna Karenina.

Elena became the symbol of my new found independence. At first we would take long 1 hour commutes from my home town to my work in the city. Eventually I moved out of my parents' home and into my first apartment. I lived alone and I relied on Elena for everything. She was how I got to work, how I took myself to see my parents, to go to the supermarket, to go to the doctors, to travel and explore. I was living by myself in the city and frankly I was lonely. When I started graduate school I made a promise to myself that I would make new friends. Elena helped me. With her we would go to social gatherings, parties, out to dinner, etc. When I really stepped out of my shell and started dating, I met my future husband Carlos and I drove her to where we had our very first date. In fact, it was standing by Elena when Carlos and I had our very first kiss.

For almost 13 years she proved to be a reliable vehicle and always kept me safe. I endured a scary accident on an off ramp. Elena took the hit and I remained for the most part unhurt. When that happened my father helped me get her muffler fixed and replace the dented bumper. My father helped me a lot with my car. He was there when I bought it. He paid for the vehicle and I tried to pay him back over the years but only got about half way there. I always felt bad that I couldn't completely pay him what I owed. Any time my car needed maintenance, a tune-up, an inspection, an oil change he was there to help me out. Every time I'd drive the car the 40 some odd miles to my parents house, he'd always inspect the vehicle, fill it up with gas and check the oil. My dad wasn't a very expressive guy but he showed me he loved me by his actions more than his words. I lost my father in 2015 and I miss him every day.

I didn't quite realize how attached I had become to Elena and how parting with her would cause me so much anguish. It wasn't until having to give her up became a reality that it hit me. Letting go of Elena meant letting go part of my history with my dad. It also meant moving on from 13 very important years of my life. This wasn't going to be easy.

One last ride with Elena

On Saturday I took one last drive to my hometown with Elena. My mother and I went to my dad's grave. I stopped to thank my dad for all his help over the years with Elena. That car gave me my independence and security.


I had to let Elena go. Overall she was in good condition but work on her brakes and fuel neck would cost thousands of dollars, money that could go to a new vehicle. This was after years of other repairs that would drain my bank account. It was time for a new car. I would have to move on.

One last look at Elena before I drove off the lot.

I know it sounds silly to be so attached to a vehicle but think of how many memories are attached to them. They take us on journeys that become part of the fabric of our lives. Good cars are important. Elena was a good car.

Thank you Pai for Elena and for everything.

San Francisco

My Not-So-Extravagant Wedding

My wedding is next year and while it's still several months away I am in full planning mode. One of the first things we did when Carlos and I got engaged was have an engagement photo shoot. The photographer iss a friend of his and she gave us a great deal. The pictures came out wonderful! I had signed up for David's Bridal's website and got a coupon for a free Photo Book from Shutterfly. I turned those engagement photos and iPhone pictures from the proposal into a Photo Book. It came out so well I got one for my parents. My mom loved it so much that she took it to work and showed all her co-workers. And then the problem began.

Her co-workers saw the fancy pictures in a printed hardcover book and immediately assumed that we shelled out a lot of money for it. They didn't know that we had gotten a discount from the photographer friend and that although I paid for the second Photo Book, I used two coupon codes which gave me free shipping and a 10% discount. All of a sudden all of my mom's co-workers are being super nice to her. Especially ones who had either ignored her or been rude to her in the past. She even got Employee of the Quarter which she hadn't received in almost 17 years (she's been at the company well over 20 years). Everyone wants to be invited to my wedding. The wedding they assume will be an extravagant and expensive affair. Not only that, my mother has been throwing out a random dollar amount for the whole wedding budget. Thanks Mom! Thanks for telling people how much you think my wedding will cost (FYI - I have not given her any numbers).

My wedding will not be extravagant. These are the 10 ways I'm pinching pennies.

1) No Bridesmaids, No Groomsmen, No Wedding Party - It's not traditional in Spanish-speaking countries to have these anyways. Also saves me money on having to give gifts, get flowers for the party, provide them with transportation, etc.
2) No flowers with a few exceptions - There will be no flowers with the exceptions of two bridal bouquets (one for me to hold and one for me to throw) and a few boutonnieres. And I'll be making the bouquets and boutonnieres myself to save money.
3) Ceremony and Reception are at the same place - I'm not having a church wedding. Both the ceremony and reception will be at the same location. We won't have to worry about paying for transportation to get people from one location to another or to pay two rental fees. Also, the location I chose is owned by my Alma Mater and I got an Alumni discount. Food/Catering is included in the price and they don't charge us a ceremony fee like other places do.
4) No Limousine - If the ceremony & reception are in the same place and I have no wedding party, why would I need it? It's a gross waste of money in my opinion.
5) No Rehearsal Dinner - Why would we need one if we have no wedding party?
6) No Engagement Party, Bridal Shower or Jack and Jill Party - I think our money was better spent on Engagement photos than a party. The wedding is the big party anyways. Also, while the Bridal Shower/Jack and Jill Parties would be organized by someone else and would be an opportunity for us to get presents, I think it's best to skip them to lessen the stress overall of wedding planning.
7) Hair and Makeup - I'm not 100% sure about this but I might be doing my own hair and makeup. It's expensive and if I pick a hair and makeup style early and practice it in advance of the wedding date, I can master it in time for the big day. However, two people have offered to gift me Hair & Makeup so I'm still deciding.
8) Decorations - No lights, no special tablecloths or napkins, no ice sculptures, etc. We may have some non-floral DIY & themed centerpieces but I'm not sure yet.
9) Dress and Accessories - Probably not going to have a veil. My ideal dress would be light enough to move and dance in. It will not be expensive because I'm only going to wear this once. Why would I want to break the bank buying it? I'm seriously considering ordering a handmade custom dress on Etsy however I just found out that my fiancee gets a 25% corporate discount at a well-known Bridal boutique chain.
10) Free help! - I have a wedding coordinator who is not charging us but is helping us out in return for experience. I'll be asking a few people to help out on the day (minor stuff). And I use TheKnot.com for free wedding help and their organizational tools and Twitter for advice.

Things that are important for me to invest in include: save-the-date magnets, invitations, wedding cake, DJ, photographer, videographer, wedding favors, disposable cameras, honeymoon, travel for the ceremony officiant, wedding bands, marriage license, bachelorette party, etc.

So why am I being so cheap? I want a house desperately. And I also really want a honeymoon. I haven't traveled any significant distance for a proper vacation since 2003. I'm long overdue. I'd rather save money and keep costs down so I can have what I really want but still have a nice wedding.

Boston Harbor Fest

Carlos and I spent Thursday in Boston attending some of the Boston Harbor Fest events. It was a lot of fun (and walking). Here are some pictures from that day.

Carlos walking the Freedom Trail towards the State House.

Inside the State House.

The hanging thingamabob represents Massachusetts. All the flags represent each town of the state.

Underneath the famous dome of the State House.

JFK Memorial Statue

View of the Boston Skyline from the Boston Common

Flowers at the Boston Public Garden

One of the famous Swan Boats at the Boston Public Garden

Self Portrait

Gorgeous flowers

Washington Statue at the Boston Public Garden

New England Aquarium

A Harbor Seal at the New England Aquarium

We took a Boston Rickshaw up the hill from the New England Aquarium to King's Chapel. This really worked hard to get us there.

View from the Rickshaw

Inside King's Chapel.

On the Crypt tour of the King's Chapel, Carlos gets a peek into one of the crypts.

And you can see a lot. Including the actual coffins. Including this one of an unidentified baby. ::shivers::

Cemetery outside King's Chapel.

U.S.S. Consitution

Second Anniversary

Carlos and I celebrated our second anniversary by recreating our first two dates. We dined at the same restaurant we first met at and we saw Hangover II (Hangover was what we saw on our real second date!). We had a little fun with pictures too.