On the way to class...

I don't know how it happened, but when I started by current lit class for graduate school I was what you could consider a "non-writer". Sure I barely keep up this blog and I write e-mails and some papers for school, but I don't really do any creative writing. Now, with only a couple of weeks left for class I will come out of this course a bonafide "writer". And its not even a writing class. But the course is taught by a published writer, most of the students in class are Creative Writing majors and the atmosphere and dynamic of the class just encourages writing. We wrote responses to everything we read, and were encouraged to read as writers and to look for what the author was trying to accomplish and how he/she carried it through. We read our writing out loud, which, over time, became a performance that influenced our written responses. And our mid-term and final papers involved mimicking other writers in sytle and form to fully understand their methods and learn things for our own writing. And I wrote a non-fiction essay about a seeing-eye dog and by some miracle it came out very well and I got an A! Now, I can't stop thinking of things to write about. Each night I think of story ideas and scenes until I fall asleep. Then the next day my fingers are itching to get at the computer to tap away at the keyboard with the new tale. What happened? Where is the Raquelle who found writing so painful and difficult? Who is this new Raquelle who actually likes to, wants to, needs to write?

It's all very strange, but I'm very grateful.

26 Year Marker

On the 25th of November, I turned 26. I turned 26 on the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women. This day is in commemoration of the brutal Trujillo-sanctioned murders of the Mirabal sisters, Patria, Minerva and Maria who protested Trujillo's dictatorship. Trujillo and the Mirabals were from the Dominican Republic. My mom is Dominican and one of the many godchildren of Trujillo (he baptized kids like crazy).

So there is historical and ancestral reasoning behind my hatred for my birthday. This is a very good cover up for the fact that I just don't like getting older. On my birthday, I always think about what I've accomplished and its never enough. I'm a late bloomer in many ways and I get supremely jealous seeing other people younger than myself accomplishing goals that I still have on my "to-accomplish-list". Plus I'm starting to get pressure to get married and have children from family members. I was spared of this until recently.

So now I'm old, errr. Older. I found a grey hair. I plucked it. Now I just have to appreciate my 26th year and make of it what I can before I turn 27 ::shudder::.

If you want to buy me a present...

If you are ever so inclined to purchase me a present for ::insert gift-giving occasion here::, then this is your guide to what my greedy soul wants. Otherwise, take inspiration from this list for your own materialism! Do I sound bitter? Mayhaps. I am broke. So right now, these things are pipe dreams until I get a fat juicy bonus in the New Year ::fingers crossed::.

~ Alfred Hitchcock: The Master of Suspense, Pop-Up Book ~ Each spread is a different Hitchcock movie. Genius!
~TiVo ~ So instead of watching junk I don't want to see on TV because I'm bored, I can't watch junk that I DO want to see on TV when I'm bored. Cheers!
~ Coach KATY Travel Tote ~ I'm spoiled. I only crave Coach bags now. I'll have to wait until this is out of season to get it.
~ Kitchen Aid Mixer in Empire Red ~ Sexiest piece of kitchen equipment there is. You know you are a true chef when you have one of these sitting in your kitchen just waiting to go into action.
~ Laptop ~ Any. As long as it has MS Word and doesn't weigh 15 pounds like my current one.
~ Subscription to the New York Times-Sunday Edition ~ Its the only newspaper worth reading these days. And the added bonus is The Book Review!!
~ BOSE Wave Radio ~ So I can listen to NPR in any part of my apartment.
~ Digital Cable ~ So I can watch Turner Classic Movies. ::sniffle::
~ One Year Subscription to Real Simple ~ It's the NYT-Sunday Edition of the magazine world. I've been collecting them since 2003.
~ Vacation to France or Ireland or even Maine ~ I just want to get away!
~ iTunes Gift Card ~ Self-explanatory.

More Time Please...

Now, more so than ever, I am feeling a major time crunch. I feel as though there are not enough hours in the day to do all the things I need to do. And because of this I charge up a debt which carries over to the next day, then the next and then the next and I feel that I can only (barely) catch up on the weekends. In fact, I had to re-arrange my weekend plans just to clean and do homework. How depressing...

Right now I'm sitting at my computer, typing this entry and procrastinating on writing my 7 pages on 7 essays (1 page for each essay read) for class on Monday. I really do not want to do this. This weekly homework used to be an ok task until our professor started making us read them aloud in class. ::cringe:: Now there is the added pressure of making them worthy of other people's eardrums. Those other people just happen to be a group of writers. (kill me now!)

But all is not lost on the time issue. I feel that instead of looking for more time to do more things, I really need to give myself fewer things to do so that I can do everything else at a reasonable pace. I also need to become more organized with my time so that I don't waste precious minutes and hours having mini-nervous breakdowns. How do I do all this? I'm not quite sure. But I'm working on it. Wish me luck!

Cosmos are good for killing spiders

Who knew this women's magazine was a stealth arachnid killing weapon?!

Nothing expresses my status as a single girly girl who lives alone than my recent encounter with a spider. For anyone who has had the pleasure uhmmm... displeasure of watching Psycho (1960) , knows the tremendous feeling of vulnerability when your taking a shower. So when a spider decided to crawl in through the bathroom window whilst I was showering and park itself in a spot on the ceiling right above my head, I completely freaked out. I knew that the arachnid had to go. So I stepped out of the shower and dripping went tip-toeing into my bedroom to grab any available weapon I could. The closest thing I could find was the last issue of Cosmo on my nightstand. So I grabbed it and dripped my way back to the shower. I made a comical effort to kill the spider by throwing up the Cosmo at the ceiling and running away quickly, lots of girly shrieks ensuing. Now normally I'm not scared of spiders but being in this vulnerable position, especially living alone, I panicked. And what's most embarassing and what shames me tremendously is that I crossed the threshold over to impossibly girly when I grabbed the girliest magazine in the WORLD to kill this spider. Shame! Shame! The tomboy of my youth would be so disappointed. ::sigh::

Linkage

After finding my blog linked at an apartment site for "old-fashioned London apartments" (don't they call them flats over there?) I thought it would be interesting to list how some people have found my little nook in the world wide web. This is not a novel idea of mine, it's shamelessly stolen by the great bookyeti.

Keywords:

1. hearts cristiano ~ I hear ya! I don't care what the Brits think, he's a okay in my book.
2. boruc handsome ~ why yes he is! huhmanah huhmanah!
3. grown men don't cry music video code ~ I'm still trying to figure this one out.
4. old fashion high society names ~ Like Willoughby van Dyne IV?
5. beginnings are hard, endings are sad ~ It's the middle that counts!

Chocolate-Covered Raisins

Its been eons since I've had the pleasure of eating these little morsels. I grabbed a little bag of these from our office stockpile of chocolate and slowly picked at them one by one as I responded to some e-mails. These sure take me back. I remember the days when I was a little girl, my mom used to buy me a big bag of Raisinets to keep me occupied on our bus trips to New York. Such a strange little treat. The way the chocolate hugs around the raisin, with cute little dimples here and there. I love how the chocolate cracks and crumbles when you bite into one. I could wax poetic about how they shine and how they feel as I roll them around in my hand. I think its more about the happy memories and comfort they bring rather than their taste. I always find it amazing how smells and sensations transport us back to another place and time. Especially, when they bring you back to a happy time in your life. And chocolate-covered raisins definitely do that for me.

Sanctuary

For the past few months, I've struggled to find sanctuary in my new little nest. I am by nature someone who needs a little cove of comfort. It's where the participation in my favorite activities is enhanced by the overall feeling of happiness. It is not only a happy place in the physical sense, but also in the emotional sense. That joy comes solely from within but if I don't feel a sense of comfort in where I am, it is hard to connect with those feelings. They end up buried somewhere not wanting to come out. Over time, I find myself more and more accustomed to my apartment, but I'm not quite there yet. I feel I have a ways to go. I still wander back to my parent's home ever so often to nest. If I had moved further away or perhaps had a significant other to move in with, my new place might have already reached the status of sanctuary. I think the loneliness and the easy access to close family make it the most difficult. I also believe that the size of my living room doesn't help either. It's very long and dark. I find it too brooding and ominous for my taste. I've been trying to make it seem cosier and to add more light to the room. On the contrary, the bedroom is just the right size and very sunny. I've filled the room with creams, blues and browns (just like home) and its so easy to fall asleep there.
Maybe I'm picky or just plain eccentric, but home is so important to me. I need to feel like there is somewhere I can escape to and find my inner sense of peace. But for now, my little nest is a work in progress.

Shakira

I was a big Shakira fan back in high school. I loved her music and had much respect for her. I'm not really impressed by her now (in fact I'm kind of disappointed), but I found this video online and it was a great blast from the past. I used to listen to this song over and over again on my CD walkman (remember walkmans?!) while waiting for my bus in the mornings. Ahh memories. Enjoy!

Music Video:"ESTOY AQUí" (by Shakira)

Music Video Code provided by VideoCodeZone.Com

Ambulance

When I woke up this morning, I didn't realize that in a few hours I would be taking my very first ride in an ambulance. I have been very sick for the past week. I got, what I thought was, a really nasty bacterial infection in my throat which affected my ears and then went on to give me the worst sinus pressure imaginable. The pain was unbearable. I had gone to the doctor before the symptoms got really bad and was immediately put on penicillin. I had been a good patient taking the pills 4 X a day. They didn't seem to be doing much since the symptoms kept getting worse as the days went on. Finally, yesterday I started feeling better. My sinuses were clearing up, my sore throat and ear pain were gone and I was getting my energy back. But I still had to continue on the medicine for a few days until I finished all of the pills.

This morning, after taking my second dose of the day, I felt like something was trapped in my throat. I thought that the pill was somehow lodged in my esophagus and I drank some water to see if I could flush it down. Three bottles of Dasani later, I tried honey and a salt water gargle. As the hours past, the pain progressed and I started to get short of breath. Then came the hyperventilating and panic. I called my parents numerous times, but they were far away and couldn't help. I was frantic and in tears and called 911. Within 5 minutes, there were 10 men in my apartment asking me questions, taking my pulse and checking my blood pressure. Shorty afterwards, I was whisked away into an ambulance and strapped into a stretche. Luckily, I was being consoled by a very handsome firefighter who had gone to extra effort to make me feel comfortable. (I wanted to kiss him right then and there!!!)

I arrived at the local hospital, went through all the motions. Registration, more registration, waiting, X-ray (of my throat), waiting, examination, more waiting and another examination. Luckily, there was nothing lodged in my throat, but it is very possible that I developed an allergy to penicillin. The medicine caused my throat to close up (thus the pain and the shortness of breath) and it also caused acid reflux which I'm sure did wonders to the lining of my esophagus. And what makes me the most upset about this, the doctor who examined me said that I shouldn't have been on penicillin in the first place because the infection I had was probably viral and not bacterial! Since penicillin only works against bacteria, I might as well have not been taking any medicine at all. Grrr!!

My parents had driven all the way up to come pick me up at the hospital (bless their hearts!). And for the next couple of days, I'm on a liquid/soft food diet and will take it easy. I knew that once I became independent and had my own place that I would have some adventures. But this wasn't the kind of adventure I was looking for.

Simple Pleasures

I took some getting used to, but my apartment is starting to feel like home. My level of stress has gone down, especially since I'm away from my parents, so there is less bickering and my commute is down to 10 minutes from 2 hour + daily. I feel more independent and more responsible. The best thing of all is that I have the time to take pleasure in simple things. Here are some new rituals and some small things I get pleasure from:

• Taking long evening walks
• Reading the Sunday New York Times at a cafe
• Watching people walk their dogs
• Seeing the Prudential Tower from my bedroom window
• Trying out new restaurants
• Grocery shopping on Sunday afternoons (lot of local single guys do the same)
• Silence. Enough to be able to sit down and truly enjoy a good book or magazine
• Watching the sun set over the nearby pond

I plan to increase this list considerably! I just have to get used to the town and the area. I'm looking for new and fun things to do and places to meet people. Meeting people is the most difficult thing. Luckily, I have school coming up. I promised myself not to say no to any school or work-related gatherings! I couldn't say yes all that often before because of my commute. Now I have no excuse! Let the good times begin!

New Beginning

Hope Floats is not one of my favorite movies, but there is a quote from the film that I will carry with my for the rest of my life. "Beginnings are hard, endings are sad, but its the middle that counts." It was a reflection on life in general, but I think it can be specifically applied to any major change in ones life. I'm sad to leave my parents, who I love dearly. I find myself going back "home" to find solace, intermittently while I'm adjusting to my new apartment, which has yet to become my new "home" in the emotional sense. I'm waiting for that in-between period to come. One in which I'm comfortable with my new-found independence and do not rely on my parents for emotional support. I think it will take a while -- a long while. I'm very behind at being an adult. But I'll get through it somehow. I just have to.

So Tired...

I'm exhausted. On Saturday, I moved some things into my apartment and got my new sofa. On Sunday, I loaded up a U-Haul truck and moved a whole lot more. On Monday and Tuesday, I moved even more things and started setting up so that the apartment could be somewhat liveable. I assembled a coffee table, two side chairs, a dining table and after 5 hours of blood, sweat and tears I gave birth to an entertainment center. I can't believe how much work this is and how quickly I get tired and have to stop. This definitely shows that I need to be more active!

Gonna take a short hiatus as I'll be internet-less for a few days and will need to keep working on my apartment. Pictures to come! Woohoo! And also, the finals of the World Cup are this weekend so I'll be too busy having minor heart attacks to do anything at all productive. Bon journee!

Go Portugal!!!!!

Portugal kicked England's b-u-t-t today. This game was pure torture. No goals for 90 minutes, then no goals for 30 more minutes. Then Cristiano Ronaldo (shown above) sealed Portugal's victory with a third successful penalty kick. It was beautiful, but good grief I almost had a heart attack! The excitement was too stressful.

Grown Men Crying

I love watching the World Cup, but boy is it stressful. I don't think I could ever become a full-time devoted fan of football (soccer). I wouldn't have enough energy to deal with real-life emotions because all my stress, anxiety, heart-break and happiness, joy and elation would all be funnelled into games. What gets to me is the major disappointment when one team loses. Today Argentina lost to Germany in penalty kicks. Argentina managed to only get 2 in while Germany got 4. That last missed penalty kick by Argentina sealed Germany's victory. That poor guy Cambiasso who lost that one goal was crying! Even though I was beside myself with joy that Germany won (I think they are incredible), watching a grown man crying depresses me to no end. And then to see a whole team crying and leagues of fans cry, I can't take it! I even fell to pieces when I saw Cristiano Ronaldo cry after his leg injury prevented him from finishing the game. The highs are so high and the lows are so low, that I guess no matter how much I'd like to become full-time fan, I can only take football in small doses. Lets hope there is not a lot of crying this afternoon when Ukraine goes versus the blood-thirsty, elbow-throwing Italians.

Go Portugal!!!

Portugal (1) ~ Netherlands (0)

My apologies to the Dutch!

Anything to get out of doing my mid-term and packing up for my move!

Everytime I watch a match of the World Cup the announcers always bombard the viewers with random facts and statistics that to me, as an amateur football fan, seem way out of left field. I decided, out of pure frustration with these silly scenarios that the sportcasters create, that I would write some wacked-out statistics of my own.

1) Germany has never advanced to the final four, on non-European soil and when cheap American Budweisers are downed by their team's rival's fan's mothers-in-law's cousins during teatime in London.

2) Mexico has only ever scored 2 goals in the second stage of the World Cup, except that time when 50% of the other team had serious constipation.

3) Its the first time in 40 years, Portugal has advanced to the second stage of the World Cup in which one of their team members is a young, hot, Prince-William look-a-like, not from the mainland.

4) Ecuador has lost everytime that the majority of their fans do NOT participate in the wave, sing the national anthem and buy expensive FIFA merchandise.

5) The longest distance a player has ever slid across the grass while other team members were celebrating the wrong goal in their second game, was 5 feet.

6) The Brazil vs. The African Brazil (Ghana) game will be the first time a South-American team has played against an African team which, within their own continent, is considered to be equal of the other team in that other continent.

Retribution At Last!

This has been a really bad year for me, and yesterday I said to myself, "for all of the bad things that have happened to me, there must be some retribution coming soon. There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, I must be at least close!" Well, retribution is coming in the form of a bigger apartment! The tenant of the original apartment just wouldn't quit, so my realtors (God bless them) worked their magic and got me an apartment, on the same floor of the same building, with a bigger lay-out, better views and the same original price. I was blown away! Basically, I just got an upgrade. Now I can resume packing with the knowledge that I actually have an apartment (an even nicer one to boot) to move into! Thank you kharma!

My World Comes Crashing Down

This is a really bad day.
 
For one, my beloved uncle died this morning at noon.
 
Secondly, the tenant of the apartment I was going to move into July 1st now doesn't want to move out. So I'm apartment-less.

To add to that, its crisis after crisis at work and I can't seem to catch up. And I have a midterm exam this week and a final exam next week.
 
::sigh::

The Cup Overfloweth With Opinions

I have a lot going on right now. I'm going to moving into my first apartment in a few weeks; I'm in the middle of my grad school summer session with a mid-term right around the corner; I'm working like a dog at my job trying to catch up because of the time I lost during my vacation. But even with all of this going on, my main focus still remains on soccer and the World Cup. It's all I can think about and all I'm interested in. I allot most of my time to packing, studying and working but I've got a serious case of soccer-on-the-brain. Here are my thoughts on the World Cup so far (Disclaimer: I'm not a professional sports fan):

Germany-4 ~ Costa Rica-2 : Can someone say "hometown advantage"?
Poland-0 ~ Ecuardor-2 : I was mesmerized by the Polish goalkeeper the whole time.
England-1 ~ Paraguay-0 : Probably one of the most boring games, ever. ::Yawn::
Trinidad & Tobago-0 ~ Sweden- 0: I loved the fact that T&T were so happy with their score!
Argentina-2 ~ Ivory Coast-1: Eh.
Serbia-Montenegro-0 ~ Netherlands-1: It's interesting that Serbia-Montenegro is no longer one country. I was rooting for the dudes in orange. Go PSV Eindhoven!
Mexico-3 ~ Iran-0: I almost cried when all the Mexican players at the end went to hug the goalkeeper who's father passed away recently. What a touching tribute!
Angola-0 ~ Portugal-0: This fascinated me because I have family that was born in both Portugal and Angola. But I'd rather ogle at C. Ronaldo from Portugal anyday!
Australia-3 ~ Japan-1 : This is nothing to what Australia will face with Brazil. Good thing they have a 3 point advantage!
USA-0 ~ Czech Republic-3: I watched this at a bar with a bunch of USA fans, but I was rooting Czech all the way! I'm so not a good American.
Italy-2 ~Ghana-0: The Italians have really good hair. I wonder what conditioner they use?
South Korea-2 ~ Togo-1: I'm embarassed to say, I didn't even know Togo was a country!
France-0 ~ Switzerland-0: France isn't as interesting this year. Shame.
Brazil-1 ~ Croatia-0: Doesn't surprise me that Brazil won.
Spain-4 ~ Ukraine-0: The two countries rhyme! I love it.
Tunisia-2 ~ Saudia Arabia-2: I wish I could say I was interested in this, but I really wasn't.
Germany-1 ~ Poland-0: See my comments below in my last entry. Poor Boruc.
Ecuador-3 ~ Costa Rica-0: Wow, those Ecuadorians have lots of energy!
England-2 ~ Trinidad & Tobago-0: I missed this one. I wish I could have seen Rooney in action.
Sweden-1 ~ Paraguay-0: I think I was in panic-mode at work when this game happened.
Argentina-6 ~ Serbia-Montengro-0: Wow! Argentina swept the floor with those poor Serbs.
Netherlands-2 ~ Ivory Coast-1: Go Orange! Go Orange!
Mexico-0 ~ Angola-0: As exciting as watching grass grow, but gives Portugal an advantage.
Portugal-2 ~ Iran-0: Go Portugal! It's your birthday! This is my favorite game so far!
Czech Republic-0 ~ Ghana-2: What the...? How the...? Huh?
USA-1 ~ Italy-1: Brutal, complete with actual blood. Emotionally draining, but USA impressed me.

Issa/Boruc

I have a soft spot for soccer players, especially those who struggle to make it to the World Cup only to be harshly ignored by lady luck. Last time, it was Pierre~Issa. A Lebanese, South-African born, French-raised soccer player who played for the South Africa team in the World Cup in 1998 and 2002. I thought he was beautiful and graceful. He was sleek and tall and his movements across the field looked more like ballet than sport. In 1998, he tried to intercept two shots on goal from the French only to have the ball slip over his foot and into the net both times! And because he technically was the last person to touch the ball, he was counted as responsible for the other team's goal. I don't know how, but he made it to the 2002 World Cup only to get an injury during his first part of the first game and had to sit on the bench while he watched his team get eliminated! My heart yearns for him, because this is his career, his passion!

South Africa didn't make it this year, but now I long to comfort someone else. A certain Artur-Boruc on the Polish team. He's one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen. I set eyes on him and I thought to myself, I must be dreaming, I didn't think they came this handsome. I did some research on him and found out that he's a very successful goalkeeper who's played for clubs in Poland and Scotland. But being a goalkeeper must be very difficult, especially since every goal the other teams scores is basically a result of your mistake! Ouch! And my heart went out to him when Germany got a goal in the 91st minute of a 0-0 game. He looked absolutely devastated. This may be a beautiful game but the highs are high and the lows are terribly low and its more than just a game that's at stake.

Below are some pictures of Boruc for your viewing pleasure. Sorry ladies, he's married (shucks!). But if you want to ogle at him some more go to is official website!

Boruc3

Boruc2

Borac

Beautiful Game

Once every four years, something amazing happens. No, it's not a break in the time-space continuum but it's a phenomenon that is almost equally astonishing. For one month, I am glued to the television watching nothing but sports! Not just any old sport, but the beautiful game - soccer. Or, to call it by it's true name, football. Also, it's not just any old football game, but the World Cup. I, who abhor watching any type of sport for the other 3 years and 11 months in my 4 year cycle, became infatuated with football. Athletic men, from around the world, join together to run around a field and kick a ball around, and I'm entranced. There's the thrill of knowing the one goal can change the entire game. There's the international aspect of seeing representatives from so many different countries all in one place. And the most important part, there's the feminine-hormonal surge in me which swoons at the sight of slender, athletic men drenched in sweat and running around in shorts that reveal just the right amount of perfectly sculpted leg muscles. And, if they are running fast enough, their uninforms cling to their bodies revealing their amazing shapes. Their outrageously gorgeous model wives and girlfriends are no where to be seen, so the fantasy is kept in tact. In just a few minutes, another game starts, so off I go to drool over the beautiful game.

Salut!

I've decided that this poster will be the main focal piece in my new living room. Yes that's right, I've got a new living room meaning I have a new apartment! Yay! I will be less than 2 miles from work and only a hop skip and a jump away from school. Most importantly, I'll be at a distance from my parents who are still making plans to control my life while I'm away. Its going to be a great opportunity to become truly independent. I'll learn, mostly the hard way, how to be solely responsible for myself. I still see myself running back home for certain things such as mom's home cooking, our home garden complete with flowers, vegetables, fruit and herbs and my dad's mechanical expertise. I also don't want to give up my bank, my hair stylist, my dentist, my chiropractor, my aesthetician and my eye doctor. So I'll be doing lots of travelling home. But I do get to say goodbye to Monday morning/Friday afternoon commutes and paying outrageous amounts of money at the pump. I'm both excited and nervous because I know I have a lot of growing up to do! My move-in date is July 1st and I'll keep you in the loop on the details of the new pad!

Book Expo

Last Saturday was truly an unforgettable day. I woke up at 4am-ish -- which should be a crime by the way -- got ready, got on a bus and then got on a plane to D.C. Besides my disabilitating fear of flying, I was super excited. For one day, I got to go to Book Expo America, the biggest event in book publishing. It's a convention held every May (sometimes June) when book publishers and other business create elaborate booths in a grandiose convention center to show off their wares to booksellers and other folk. Authors and remainder buyers swarm around the booths like hawks hoping to court a publisher or two. It's all shmooze and all excitement. When I arrived at the Washington Convention Center I was in awe! I got to wander around for a few hours oggling at other publisher's goodies before going to my company's booth for "booth duty." My job was basically to handsell our titles, pass out free goodies (something Book Expo is famous for) such as galleys (pre-publication copies of books), tote bags, postcards and catalogs, and answer as many questions as I could. It was so great to see so many people excited about the industry. The whole experience reminded me why I'm in this business: because I truly love books. And being around so many other people who've dedicated huge parts of their lives to books, only made me more proud of my career! I still can't stop talking about the experience! I have made a Yahoo! Photo Album for you to see some pictures from my trip. Please enjoy.

Back for Good

I really needed a hiatus from everything and work on getting some issues resolved. So now I'm back for good. When I have some time, I will write a proper post. For now, I will just highlight some important things that are going on in my life:

1. I'm back in school, taking a class I like on a schedule that works for me.
2. My chiro sessions ended and now I don't have back and neck pain.
3. I'm slowly coming to terms with my dog's death, although I'm forever traumatized.
4. I went to Washington DC on Saturday to go to Book Expo America! And I saw celebrities! Pictures and details to come.
5. I think I found an apartment close to work. I will probably apply for it today.
6. I have a full week vacation coming soon. Finally!
7. I was a victim of identity theft. Again! Argh...I can't wait to catch up with everyone and get back to blogging!

He Broke My Heart

Tammy 1992-2006

I've been so despondent. I feel like my heart has been broken and my soul has been shattered. On Wednesday, my beloved dog Tammy passed away. He (yes he) was diagnosed with lymphoma back in December of 2004. We took him to a special Veterinary hospital where he underwent 2 or 3 operations and had chemotherapy for 4 months. He was in remission until a few weeks ago, when his tumors started growing back. It happened so quickly but I had been expecting it for so long. I can't recall a time that I never cried so much. Tammy has been a part of my life since I was 11 years old. I've gone through so much with him and now he's gone. I'll miss him dearly and will always cherish his memory. Pets give us a type of love that people just can't. It's unconditional, non-judgemental, shameless and always in full supply. My life was better for having Tammy in it. Although, I suffer the pain of losing him I know that now he's suffering no pain. Above is the last picture I took of him, it was a couple of hours before we had to bring him to the hospital to put him to sleep. He sat so quietly next to me and looked so sad. The lumps you see on his chest and neck are a result of his illness. Yet even disfigured by the disease, he still looks as handsome as that 3 month old puppy that I held in my arms that fateful day in 1992. Godspeed Tammy! I will always love you.

I'm Going to Washington DC!

There is a big convention in Washington DC in May where all the major book publishers and booksellers from across the country get together to sell/buy, shmooze, show off, collect free stuff and ogle celebrities. And yours truly is going! Yay! I'm so excited. My job in publishing doesn't really require me to go to this big event, but since my company needs an extra hand to help out at our booth this year I get to go! Oh yeah! I'm so excited. I might bring my camera and take pictures to share on this blog. Its not definite that I'm going but I'm 95% sure it is going to happen. Woohoo!

Tagged, I'm it!

Bev has been very kind and tagged little ole me to fill this marvelous list of fours. Enjoy and please feel free to share your own!

Four jobs you have had in your life:

1. Barnes & Noble Bookstore ~ Bookseller, Magazine Lead and Barista
2. Northeastern University Press ~ Intern
3. Current job at a Children's Book Publisher.
4. I've only had 3 jobs! All book-releated too.

Four movies you could watch over and over:

1. If a Man Answers (1962) w/ Bobby Darrin and Sandra Dee
2. Pillow Talk (1957) w/Rock Hudson and Doris Day
3. Pride & Prejudice BBC Adaptation
4. Father of the Bride (1950) w/ Elizabeth Taylor and Spencer Tracy

Four places you have lived:
1. Natick, Massachusetts
2. Boston, Massachusetts
3. 'Rents House, Massachusetts
4. My future apartment in Massachusetts

Four TV shows you love to watch:
1. Friends
2. The segments TCM shows in between movies.
3. A Fine Romance
4. Arthur!

Four places you have been on vacation:
1. Portugal
2. Dominican Republic
3. Alberta, Canada
4. England!

Four web sites I visit daily:
1. Hotmail
2. Work-related Website
3. IMDB
4. Netflix

Four of my favorite meals:
1. Clam Bake
2. Pulled Pork Sandwiches
3. Pepperoni Pizza
4. Pad Thai

Four places I would rather be right now:
1. At home with a good book
2. At home watching a good movie
3. At home surfing the net
4. At home playing with my dog

Four places you would like to visit:
1. France
2. Ireland
3. Italy
4. Maine (I've never been there!!)

Four friends I am tagging that I think will respond.
1. If you've done me the honor of reading this, then consider yourself tagged!!!

Gifted Borders

Because I think the copywriting team at Borders are a group of absolute geniuses, I thought I'd share two paragraphs about reading I just enjoyed from their March 2006 Fiction e-mail newsletter.

Sometimes it's a comfort to pick up a book and enter the life of a character not so much unlike one's self, with a life not unlike one's own, facing challenges that are all too familiar. There is a calming sense of empathy that emanates from the well-written quotidian tome, a sigh of relief when each of us encounters a character with whom we can almost completely identify. On other occasions, escapism is the order of the day, and nothing thrills us more than entering times, places, or realities that we find thoroughly…well…novel. How invigorating, and edifying, to tool around Venice with a courtesan and a dwarf, to learn that Death sports mint-green golf wear, to find interspersed within pages of text a graphic novel inspired by Dante.

Je suis toujours ici

I'm still here! I've just been very busy at work. So busy in fact, I've put most of my energy into work and when I come home I'm so drained that I just want to lounge about and watch movies all night. When I do scrounge up the energy on the weekend, I go see my chiropractor (my back's gotten worse), run some errands and start planning for my apartment. Yes that's right I said it, apartment. Its looking more like a possibility than a far off dream. With my recent promotion, I'm starting to become more financially secure and now is the perfect time to move out. I was hoping to move out before I start school again (end of May) but it looks like June is more realistic. I'm really super excited about the prospect of a little nook to call my own. Its really boosted my spirits, more than I can convey in words. It will be great to focus my energy on this. I'd like to revitalize my blog too and to post more often! I keep thinking my posts are boring and that's creating a form of writer's block. Not good! Stay tuned...

March

This comes from a Borders newsletter, of all places. Its such an encouragement when you are struggling through those last days of winter and are so hungry for a taste of spring! Here it is! Enjoy:

We are now in a month of transition. March carries us through the dead end of winter and gives us our first glimpse of spring. As the days move from shorter to longer, our energy levels rise, and we emerge from whatever physical and mental hibernation we may have been in. Suddenly, it is as if the earth itself blew the warm breeze of a final yawn across the land, urging its floral tenants and faunal boarders to awaken renewed and refreshed.

Indulgences

The lovely Bev had a marvelous idea for a post, which I have decided (with all due credit to her for the concept) to use on my blog. It has been so hectic these past few months, that its nice to step back and appreciate the little things that make life so precious. Those moments you savor as you indulge in something you truly enjoy. Here are some of my indulgences. (Please feel free to share yours too!)

Doggie Talk: There is nothing better than talking incomprehensible gibberish to my lovely beagle, who enjoys every minute of it. He doesn't understand a word, but knows its the language of love.

Purging: Not what you think! One of my favorite things to do is take a big trash bag, scavenge around the house for disposable items, filling up the bag and throwing it away. Its as if I've filled that bag with stress and clutter and just got rid of it. Pure bliss!

Croissant and Coffee: This is my favorite breakfast. It all started when I watched the hunky Rock Hudson accept an offer of coffee and a roll from the beautiful Jane Wyman in All That Heaven Allows (1955). There is something so appealing about the simplicity of that scene.

Magazines: I love buying several women's magazines (Real Simple, Shape, InStyle, Glamour, etc.) and just plonking myself on my sofa and devouring all the articles. It makes me feel like a real girl's girl for an hour or so.

Kindness: Its highly underrated! It makes the other person feel good and that feeling only comes right back at you.

Old Movies: I know this is an obvious one, because I talk about them all the time, but movies from the 30's, 40's, 50's (and 1960-1962 ~ I'm very specific) are my absolute favorites! Its my escape into another world, one much more simple and innocent than the one I know.

Books: Another obvious one, but I love everything about them and have based my career on them. As the years go by, my appreciation for their beauty, complexity and power never wanes.

A Good Night's Sleep: Feeling refreshed after sleeping in a nice warm bed, is there anything better?

Two-Cent Reviews

Been watching a lot of movies lately. Here are my Two-Cent reviews that I post on Netflix for the stuff I've recently seen.

Designing Woman (1957) ~ Who spilled the ravioli? Very funny film. Gotta love Bacall and Peck!

Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House (1949) ~ Blanding's Dream House is more like a nightmare. Hilarious!

Beyond the Sea (2004) ~ Shameful! A disgrace on the memory of the lovely Bobby Darin!

Asylum (2005) ~ Psycho stalker love stories are my favorite. And this one is steaming hot! ::sizzle::

Butterfield 8 (1960) ~ Very captivating film. Taylor and Harvey are dynamic and Fisher is just bleh!

East of Eden (1955) ~ James Dean cries, gets drunk and is sad. Nothing really new. Good anyways!

Imitation of Life (1934/1959) ~ It will move you to tears. Not the drippy kind but the gushing kind.

Merchant of Venice (2004) ~ Overacted by everyone except Pacino who was amazingly disturbing as the man who wanted a pound of flesh!

An American in Paris (1951) ~ Gene Kelly, we know you can dance, now stop showing off!

Gigi (1958) ~ Gigi looks 13 but Leslie Caron was 27. Her fling with Louis Jordan would be weird if he wasn't so hot!

~Raquelle~

I Hate this Holiday!

Out of all of the holidays this one makes me feel the absolute worst. Its for the most part a painful reminder that I'm still single (like I needed reminding) and that there is a dirth of flowers, chocolate and jewelry in my life. It has good intentions but it fails miserably (kind of like Communism!). So today, I'll spend the rest of the day brooding to myself, crying "Abba! Why have thou foresaken me?" and being generally miserable.

~Raquelle~

16-24 inches of snow expected today! Sheesh!

Naughty Netflix!

I just read this article on Yahoo! regarding the throttling practices used by Netflix, in which you are basically punished for returning your movies too quickly! If you've developed a history of watching movies and returning them really fast, Netflix will "delay" the shipment of your next title. And if the title on the top of your queue is in high demand, you'll go farther down the list of people in line for the movie. Smoke almost came out of my ears I was so mad. I've been a loyal customer for years and I can't believe the nerve. If they are imposing a limit, just say so! What's wrong with 3 movies at a time with a maximum of 20 per month? As long as your honest! The nerve. So I sent them an angry letter. I won't stop the service, because I hate Blockbuster and there is nothing better out there, but if something better does come along I'm leaving. And fast!

Cary Grant: A Biography by Marc Eliot

0-307-20983-0; Three Rivers PressI picked up this title recently mostly because I'm intrigued with the life of Cary Grant, but what really captured my eye about this book and drew me towards it was its amazing cover. A simple, sleek black and white design with Cary Grant at the prime of his life, sitting indian style in such a way that his body makes the shape of a star. What also intriguing about the cover, was that you read the title and subtitle to yourself, without even realizing that the title isn't even on the cover. Yet you know that the title is "Cary Grant" because the image is so familiar that that name instantly comes to you the moment you lay eyes on the image. Brilliant!

Marc Eliot, an expert on pop culture, dishes out all the very juicy parts of Grant's somewhat scandalous life. There were lots of interesting bits about his relationship with his mother, whom his father told him was dead, but really was in an insane asylum for 19 years without him knowing! Eliot also goes into great detail into Grant's more-than-friendly relationship with fellow actor Randolph Scott and his five marriages among other various romances. The frame of biography is somewhat built upon the Academy's grudge against Grant and their reluctance to give him an Oscar (which changed when Gregory Peck stepped in!).

If you want the dirt on Cary Grant, this is definitely the book to read. Yet Eliot is in no way judgemental of Grant in any way. He delivers a pretty straightforward biography and doesn't miss a beat. His high respect for the actor and interest in his life shows through in the writing style. My only dislike of the biography was Eliot's not-so-nice portrayal of the wives. I was most interested in Grant's last wife, Barbara Harris, who is barely mentioned at all. But Eliot takes his time to detail two relatively unknown aspects of Grant's life. His very close friendships with Howard Hughes, who supported Grant through many a scandal and Alfred Hitchcock, who believed in Grant and lived vicariously through him. Superb read! Highly recommended.

I Hate My School!

My school is giving me the most difficult time about this Leave of Abscence. They have the ability to deny my request and I've been on tenderhooks for days waiting for their response. I've already bugged them to the extent that I'm sure they are so utterly annoyed with me that they would refuse me just on the basis of spite. If they refuse me, I may just have to take an incomplete on the class or something. I'm not sure. The school is for students who are financially well to do, even after paying all their undergraduate tuition bills, and thus do not need to work, can pay for high rent Boston apartments and have loads of free time on their hand. That is the opposite of me. I work full-time, can barely afford the tuition and commute from a long distance, free time is precious to me and I can only dole it out in small amounts. I feel like this school does not understand me whatsoever and that I'm not getting what I need out of it. I may even consider a withdrawl, but I think my anxiety is what is speaking right now. I'm so anxious and nervous and depressed even people at work have been coming up to me asking me what's wrong? I can't wait until this is all over.

~Raquelle~

I'm doing it!

I'm taking a Leave of Abscence from school for one semester. I submitted the necessary paperwork today and now I'm waiting for a yea or nay. I won't get all my money back, but I'll get most of it. So I will have until May to really focus on work, my physical problems (hypoglycemia, back & neck problems, etc.) and my personal issues. It would be a shame to continue the semester and do a half-assed job at it. Plus endure all the stress and worry of school on top of everything else. I would spread myself thin and not accomplish anything worth accomplishing.

This is a big decision and I hope its for the best. I really want to take the opportunity to use this time for something worthwhile so that I don't look back and regret time lost for school. Wish me luck!

 

I Need a Pick Me Up

I went to my first class for this semester last night and was horrifyingly disappointed. I'm really contemplating not finishing the MA program. And for me to say that is very unusual because I'm not a quitter and I dread failure. But this program is really not what I thought it was. I was hoping to get real inside knowledge into the industry but what I'm getting is a lot of low quality busy work. Granted I've only taken two courses so far, and only one class of my third, but I've paid for those classes and I don't feel like I came out of them learning anything useful. ::sigh::
Today I really needed a pick me up. Some Chet Baker music, a good book to snuggle up to and something warm to drink.

The Pain is More Bearable When...

As I hinted at in the previous post, it turns out that I didn't come out completely unscathed from my November accident. Actually, I've been experiencing neck, back and chest pain and had to go to the chiro for an adjustment. My chiro says all the pain is centered exactly around the areas that the seat belt rests on the body. And because of the impact of the crash and the fact that I knew it was going to happen, and my body tensed up, the pain I'm feeling now is conducive to what happened almost two months ago. Sheesh! And I thought it was all over.

But all is not lost! I got some amazingly good news today. It's been 2 years since I've been at my current job, and today was my yearly review. Yours truly not only got a raise (2-1/2 times more than the raise I got last year) but I also got a promotion. I don't really get any added responsibilities, I have enough as it is, but I do get a new title and the raise coincides with the new elevated position. Hooray! Makes my aches and pains all the more bearable.

Screwed

I feel like I've only been posting sad entries lately, but it's been a tough week for me. I just found out that I had been scammed out of $40. Albeit in 2003, but all the same. I forked over $20 in a donation to an organization that was accepting donations for a cancer fund. They claimed to be supported by airline companies that we're giving them free travel vouchers in order to get people to make donations. I went to the website, which I got from a very legit source, and filled out a form which I mailed with a $20 check. I thought, well, even if the voucher thing doesn't pan out, I'm still giving to a good cause. (Ahh, I'm kicking myself as I type this). Then I got another notice asking for another $20 check for the voucher. Okay strange, but I still did it because I still trusted my legit source (I'm getting bruises from all the kicking). Well, I got a Reservation Request Form that I had up to 2 years to fill out with my ideal destinations and time and they would reply to me with lodging costs and what they could give me in vouchers. So the months went by and after much pestering from my mother, I finally sent in the Request form. Never heard a word. Nada! Zip. Good old mother dear told me I'd been had. In the back of my mind I knew she was right, but I needed proof. Which I got today from this website. Now, if you'll excuse me I'll go hide into the abyss of my shame! Maybe I'll climb out tomorrow to tell you all about the physical injuries I received from my November accident.

If for any reason, you would like to be depressed...

Please watch this movie. It will fill you with a profound sense of shame and a yearning to go hug your mom.

Please read this book. It will make you think that life is desparately unfair and potential suicidal thoughts may surface!

Godspeed Shelley Winters

Shelley Winters (1920-2006)

Great Minds Read Alike

It's been a busy week for me. I spent the last two days looking at amazing new children's books that will be out on the market starting September of this year. I'm so amazed by the power of imagination from all different types of people whether they be writers, editors, artists and designers. The coming together of great minds is bound to create amazing results. Granted some of the books I thought were pretty bleh. But of course, I'm a picky girl when it comes to books.

However, one of the things that I realized during this recent 2-day conference, is that my reading skills are pretty weak. It's very rare that I read a whole book in one day. It usually takes me 2-5 days and sometimes weeks and months, all depending on length, vocabulary, depth of writing, etc. Anna Karennina took me a whole summer! I know this is slow, but I didn't think it was that bad. Until, that is, I heard someone say that they read a 560 page book in one sitting. One sitting? No breaks? Not even trips to the bathroom? I don't think I could manage digesting 560 pages in one day. I don't even know if I'd want to? I like to savor books and enjoy them. But it did make me realize something, especially if I'm going to make book publishing my career, I really have to read faster. I don't want to learn to speedread but I can't take my sweet time. My slow reading skills may be the reason why my homework this past semester took so long to do. The bulk was reading and getting it all done took too much time. So I really want to strive to better my reading skills in 2006. I plan to read more books and create strict deadlines for myself! I may need to do exercises to increase my attention span as that's one of my main difficulties.

I'm So Proud of Myself Already!

In my attempt to become a responsible, self-sufficient, independent human being, today I gave myself my first very big adult task of 2006. I'm going to my income tax report all by myself. Yes! Usually, I give all the paperwork to my dad who has his lawyer do all the dirty work. That way I can put all my focus and attention on other things, like filling out those dreaded FAFSA reports for financial aid . This year is different. I'm taking the task upon myself and will be solely responsible for making the IRS very happy. I'm not dismayed by the fact that I'm a financial dunce. I will forge ahead with much confidence and will ask questions and research to learn as much about everything tax that I possibly can.
I've realized that even with all this free time I have in between school semesters, I haven't been blogging much because I don't have much to say. School creates a lot of interesting drama and it's a bit of a slow period at work now. But we are going to be selling our Spring list and launching our Fall list, so starting this week, I'll have lots to do. I've also got some major plans for 2006. I'm trying to get myself psyched up for some really big steps that so far I've been too afraid to take. So I'm sure I'll have a lot more to contribute to my little nook on the net. Stay tuned.

3,000 Miles of Terror!

I haven't had a lot of chances to watch movies lately, so now that I finally have a bit of a break from school, I've been trying to watch as many as possible. Although I am really detesting going out to movie theatres, I bit the bullet and used my Loew's gift card to see Casanova (2005). It was a pretty decent picture with a lot of laughs. Lasse Hallstrom never disappoints. Later at home, I watched some Val Lewton horror films like Cat People (1942), The Curse of the Cat People (1944) and The Seventh Victim (1943). They sound super cheesy and I was deadset against watching them. I could only envision people dressed in poorly made cat costumes, clawing people and pretending to be scary. But after watching a few scenes of Cat People on TCM, I was surprised! Val Lewton was given these cheesy titles and very little money by RKO and in turn made these amazingly intelligent psychological thrillers. I highly recommend watching them.

And one can not speak of psychological thrillers without mentioning the master of them all, Mr. Alfred Hitchcock. By far the best film I've seen in the past few weeks his film Saboteur (1942). I was absolutely blown away. It's about a young aircraft worker named Barry Kane (played by the hunky Robert Cummings) who is framed for sabotaging a military airbase. In the midst of a fire, a malicious man named Frank Fry hands Kane a fire extinguisher full of gasoline. It's taken out of Kane's hands by his friend Ken Mason who tries to put out the fire but instead dies when the blaze gets out of control. Fry disappears and Kane gets blamed for Ken's death and for sabotage. He goes across the country looking for Fry and escaping the police. But get this, Fry is part of a secret Nazi circle that is planning sabotage all across the US! Kane has to stop this of course and along the way picks up pretty Priscilla Lane, a fashion model and a patriotic American. They journey across the country and end up at this amazing climactic scene at the top of the Statue of Liberty. Isn't that the best plot for a movie? Why don't people make movies like this anymore? Anyways, if you get a chance watch it! It's top notch stuff and personally recommended from yours truly.