What do you Google?

I have a very curious mind. I get it from my Dad. My curiosity is like an itch that I have to scratch and if I can't scratch it I will go out of my mind with anxiety. Or perhaps a lighter version of that.

Now, I've been online for quite a while so I've been "Googling" things before Google even existed. I would do searches on Altavista, Lycos but mostly Yahoo!. Today, I almost exclusively Google but do occasionally visit Bing or Yahoo!. If I'm not looking up something for my job, for my blogs or hobbies, I'm Googling questions, things I heard, new information I learned and want to know more about, trends and topics, etc. I Google a lot of things and while I'm not the best Googler out there, I feel like I'm pretty competent.

What do I Google?

Here is a list of things that I Google on a regular basis:

1) Symptoms - Confession: I'm a bit of a Hypochondriac. If there is anything amiss with my body, I will Google the symptoms and research the ailment trying to self-diagnose. I remember one month I was getting some cramps in my chest, I think I Googled "breast cancer" almost every single day. Last Thursday, I was pretty sick and had to lie down for most of the day. This caused me some acid reflux that has been affecting me ever since. So I Googled those symptoms. Some months ago, I had a really large and painful cyst (don't ask). While I was waiting for Carlos to pick me up to bring me to the Emergency Room, I spent the time Googling symptoms on my iPhone. Now, while I know health resources online are valuable, I would never self-medicate myself with anything other than the recommended dosage of an OTC drug. However, it is a comfort to know what I have or to know something is normal and treatable.

2) Quiverfull, Prairie Muffins, Polygamy, Helpmeet - I'm fascinated with Quiverfull and FLDS Polygamist lifestyles. Several times a month, I plop these keywords into Google and I read blog entries, Facebook pages, news articles, etc. Something I'm starting to do more these days is to search keywords through YouTube (not through Google's Video search though, which I don't care for).  I found this very interesting clip about a Quiverfull family over the weekend. Why do I Google these terms? I just find these lifestyles very interesting and at the same time very scary. There is a dehumanizing of the female that happens in sacrifice of family that fascinates me endlessly. Especially since I see the same thing in mainstream culture but for other reasons.

3) Pushba - Once in a while, I'll declare "It's Pushba time!". Pushba is a young Russian woman who is some sort of alternative model. She shaves her hairline, wears numerous piercings, has various tattoos, uses crazy make-up and wears a strange array of clothes. I found her when I was reading the funny website Tacky Weddings and they did a post about her Russian Goth Wedding. I did some research on her and found she keeps a Livejournal (NSFW), which I can't read because it's all in Russian, and a Gallery (NFSW) of her modeling. Her photos are so captivating. I can look at them for hours! I never bookmark her sites, instead I just like to Google her. Why? I'm not sure. Maybe searching for her is part of what I like about Pushba time.

4) Questions - If I have a question about anything, I'll Google it. No really. I'll Google the actual question because chances are the question contains all the necessary keywords needed for the search. Maybe this is me being conditioned from the AskJeeves.com days. Most of the time, these questions are personal and relate to sex and romance. But I ask all sorts of other types of questions too.

So what do you Google?

How I Macgyvered Our Toilet; or War against the Ballcock

Our home toilet hasn't been doing so great. The lift chain which is pulled by the handle in order to lift the flush ball and flush the toilet was broken. It was being kept attached to the flush ball with a paper clip. Then the Ballcock, the part of the toilet which is connected to the water pipe and fills the tank with water, was spouting water from the top instead of from beneath the cap. This was causing water to come out of the lid of the toilet onto the seat, the floor or completely soaking our rolls of toilet paper. We managed to survive with these two problems. The paper clip had to be readjusted ever so often and the Ballcock could be twisted in a way that it wouldn't spurt water out the top. But this required removing the toilet lid and fixing the Ballcock quickly every 3-4 flushes.

I kept bugging Carlos to call his Plumber friend to fix this.

Fast forward a couple months and my beau gets really sick. And let's just say the toilet is put to the ultimate test during this time and it fails. The part of the handle that is attached to the lift chain completely broke. In order to flush the toilet, you had to remove the toilet lid and pull the lift chain yourself. Oh my. We have to keep the toilet lid off at all times in order to use the toilet at all.

I know Carlos won't call the Plumber friend anytime soon. He likes to procrastinate.

If you know anything about me, you will know I'm as stubborn as a mule and I don't like to ask for help. So off I went to Lowes to get myself a Toilet repair kit. I must have stood out in my grey Modcloth dress, pink cardigan and black cloche hat (I wish I had snapped a picture) traipsing about the gigantic warehouse. There were tons of Lowes employees around swarming the aisles and I weaved through them, avoiding them until I found the Plumbing section. I looked through the various options. Should I just get a handle and a lift chain and deal with the spurting Ballcock? Should I get a Ballcock too? Which one should I get? In the end, I decided on getting a complete toilet repair kit that came with all the essentials for a 8-1/2 inch toilet (handle, ballcock, float, float arm, flush valve, guide arm, flush ball, lift wire, etc.). I noticed that the package didn't come with a lift chain and that they were only $2. I decided I would buy that too just in case.

Good thing I did because turns out, I didn't really have an 8-1/2 inch toilet. It was more like 6 inches.

First thing I did when I got home was shut off the water and drain the tank. This was already going to be a messy job, we don't need water getting everywhere too. Then I screwed off the hose and removed the handle. Next was the Ballcock. The ballcock has several pieces. It has a small tube which gets hooked up to the water hose. This tube goes through a hole at the bottom of the tank. A plastic washer screws the Ballcock in place and a rubber ring keeps water from seeping out of the tank. With the old Ballcock, the washer was on so tightly that I couldn't remove it. I took a wrench to it, almost destroying the small tube and most of the washer. It still wasn't budging. Then I removed the float arm and float that are attached to the Ballcock and may get in the way of me removing the device. Still wasn't budging. Who ever put that washer on tightened it so tight I'm surprised he didn't break the toilet in the process. I tried several things until I started getting desperate (this is where my stubborn nature comes in).

So out came the saw.

All that was in the way of me fixing this damn toilet was removing that stupid washer. So I grabbed the saw and started cutting away. Flakes of plastic were flying everywhere. I almost got to the toilet when I realized this wasn't working.

Then I declared war against the Ballcock.

I put on a pair of my pink rubber gloves and twisted the top of the Ballcock so hard that it came right off, splitting the the washer in two. I grabbed the Ballcock and held it up triumphantly, bringing it to my beau and proclaimed "I pulled out that mother fucker!".

Now that the biggest obstacle was over, I was sure everything would be a breeze. That's where I was wrong. When I put the new Ballcock in place and was fitting the new float arm and float I realized that the arm was way too long. Shit. I bought the wrong kit. The float was so pressed up against the toilet wall that it wouldn't budge no matter how much water was in the toilet. The whole point of a Ballcock is that it cocks the ball. No I'm not being perverse. There is a little lever on top of the Ballcock that holds the float arm and float. When the water in the tank gets to a certain height, it lights the float. When the float is up to a certain level, the lever on the Ballcock snaps shut preventing more water from filling the tank. This device HAD to work or there was no use. So I decided to use the new Ballcock with the old float arm and float. Luckily this worked with no problem.

Now there was the issue with the flush ball and chain. The toilet repair kit had several pieces that put together would create a very complexe flush-ball-lifting system. I didn't quite get it. I preferred the flush ball and chain (two pieces, super simple). Turns out the length and sizes of the pieces weren't going to work with my overflow tube or even the height of the tank. I had to nix them altogether. I'm so happy that I spent that extra $2 on the new lift chain because I used the old flush ball, attached the new chain and connected it with a strange paperclip-looking piece that came with the kit to the handle bar. I turned on the water, the tank filled up and I did a test flush. It worked! An amalgamation of new and old pieces, no more paperclips, and I didn't even need chewing gum or duct tape to Macgyver this toilet!

Book Review: Give the Drummer Some by Mark Zero

Give the Drummer Some
by Mark Zero
9781933975047
Giant Publishing
August 2010

Mouse Watkins was the drummer of the funk band The Bad Apples. After a falling out with fellow band member Gateway and the realization that his band and his music wasn't what it used to be, Mouse tries to live like everyone else. He gets a regular day job working, moves out of his mom's home and into his own apartment. During a particular stormy winter in St. Louis, Mouse's retirement from The Bad Apples has put his life into an upheaval. He rekindles a romance with an old flame Shauna, explores Christian Science and fights his personal and professional battles with his old band mate and his family. This novel asks the question: what does a musician do when the spotlight ceases to shine on them?

Mark Zero's Give the Drummer Some is a sensitive look at a musician's fall from grace and the subsequent reivention of the self. Mouse is a veritable literary Phoenix and the reader will enjoy following his journey as he rises from the ashes.

My favorite parts of the book pertained to Mouse's innocent exploration of Christian Science. Growing up Baptist but not being religious, Christian Science offers something to Mouse that nothing else in his present circumstances offer and that's stability and order. Mouse's job at the Anheiseur Busch factory is only temporary. If he can't become a permanent member of staff or get a new job he will lose his apartment. His relationship with former groupie Shauna has serious highs and lows. On top of all that, everything is being covered with layers of snow that will later disappear. Nothing seems permanent. At any given moment, things can slip away. Mouse first visits a Christian Science bookstore. He seeks shelter in the bookstore after walking several miles in the snow. He needs a quiet place to warm up physically and cool off emotionally. Curious about the religion, he gets pamphlets and attends service. He likes how the religion is the opposite of his music and it's freeform style. And while he doesn't intend to convert to the religion, learning about it helps him find balance in his own life.
I personally loved this book and savored each chapter. This is the third book I've read by Mark Zero and I have to say it's by far my favorite. There is no way you will not fall in love with Mouse Watkins, sympathize with him and see parts of yourself in him. Reading about Mouse's relationship with Shauna and his exploration of Christian Science struck a chord with me and I had a personal revelation while reading the novel which I hope will help me become a better person.

Read this book now! You won't regret it.
The author Mark Zero http://www.bookmarkzero.com/
Give the Drummer Some book site: http://giantpublishing.com/givethedrummersome/
Give the Drummer Some book trailer



Special thanks to author Mark Zero for providing me with a Galley for review.

My French Journey

Polyglots are so hot.

Yesterday, Adriana over at Indigo Spells wrote about the nine languages that she's studied. Yes, you read that correctly, NINE. Bulgarian, Russian, English, French, Albanian, Greek, Romanian, Italian and Spanish. Yowzah. That's a lot. She's not fluent in all 9 but I commend her for at least tackling all of them.

Recently, I have been listening to Michel Thomas' Method French for Beginners plan in my car on my morning commutes to work. I picked up this 8-CD course at a Barnes & Noble back in 2000 when I worked there.  It was at first to prepare for a trip to Paris which never happened but then over the past 10 years of owning the set I've picked it up with the intention of becoming fluent.

But I haven't been learning French off and on for 10 years. Oh no. It's been more like 20+ years. It all started with a big loveable alien named Muzzy.

The Muzzy Language Learning Program for Children is an educational cartoon developed by the BBC in 1986 to teach English-as-a-Second-Language and then adapted by Early Advantage to teach other languages as well. The cartoon has a plot which is very slow and is interrupted by interstitials which take a moment to teach children more vocabulary words. Muzzy, the main character, is an alien from outerspace who visits the Kingdom of Gondoland. Gondoland is run by the King (la rei), the Queen (la reine) and Princess Sylvie (or Sylvia). Sylvie is in love with Jean (or Bob) the gardener (Jean le jardinier) but the King and Queen want her to marry the evil scientist Corvax. Both Jean and Muzzy get in trouble and get thrown in jail. Can Muzzy get back to his spaceship and can Jean rescue Sylvie from marrying the evil Corvax?

Starting at the age of 8 or so, I watched Muzzy over and over and over again and I learned a lot of French by doing so. Repetition is key to learning and there was a lot of repetition in the program and it begged for repeat viewings.

I learned some important words and phrases:

• j'ai (I have)
• j t'aime or j'aime (i love you or i love)
• on y va (off we go)
• bon jour (good day), bon apres-midi (good afternoon), bon soir (good evening), bonne nuite (good night)
• Arrete (stop)
• comment allez vous? (how are you?)
• merci, s'il vous plait (thank you, please)
• grand (big), petit (small)
• voila (look!)
• la (there) ici (here)
• months of the year
• how to count from 1 to 10
• letters of the alphabet
• seasons
• colors

I learned some silly stuff too:

• j'aime les parcmetres (i love parking meters. Muzzy likes eating clocks and parking meters!)
• j'ai un hamburger (I have a hamburger)
• je suis mal a la tete (I have a headache or literally I am ill of the head)
• les raisin et le prune (the grapes and the plums)
• j'ai un ordinateur (I have a computer)
• Je suis Jean, je suis le jardinier (I am Jean, I am the gardener)
• je suis le grand Muzzy (I am the big Muzzy)

Building upon those basics as well as my own understandings of English (which comes from French and German) and Spanish and Portuguese (which are both Romance languages as is French), I am very confident that I could learn to become fluent in French. What helps my confidence is that Michel Thomas' Method of teaching is so natural and fluid that he has you spouting full sentences in French within a few minutes of starting the lesson. There is no vocabulary to memorize, no workbooks, no charts, no nothing. The lesson plan comes only with the CDs and you basically listen and talk your way into learning French. You are learning along with a male and female student (which is important because of gender specific words that men would use versus women and vice versa) and if you pretend you are student #3 you can learn right along with them. This is why the CD set is perfect to listen to in the car (by yourself) because you can say the words, phrases and sentences out loud and perfect your pronounciation without worrying about bothering anyone else.

I am a veritable Michel Thomas fan girl. I love the man. He passed away in 2005 at the age of 90 and had a very long career as a polyglot. He even taught Princess Grace Kelly how to speak French when she needed to learn quickly before marrying Prince Rainier of Monaco. He left us with many recordings in which he teaches students French, Spanish, Italian, German, Portuguese and other languages. I'm hoping that with the help of Michel Thomas that I will become fluent in French, regain my fluency in Portuguese and perfect my Spanish.

The art of speaking multiple tongues is highly valued by many. There is a lot of resistance in the United States to speak anything other than English which I think is utterly ridiculous. Being raised by Spanish and Portuguese speaking parents, I understand the value of speaking multiple languages, being able to help out those learning English and broadening my horizons. I can visit any Spanish or Portuguese speaking country with no problem and can visit a French speaking country just barely get by. Yet there are people who travel who don't even try to learn a few basics. Instead they speak English super slow as though that way people can understand them.

Are you learning a language? Do you speak multiple ones? Is there a language you've always wanted to speak but haven't tackled learning it yet? I'd love to hear your thoughts.