Spilled Iced Tea and my Mother's admiration

On my list of 30 things for my 30s, I listed the following:.


28. develop a sense of elegance and grace. I'm clumsy on a good day. I could get away with it in my 20s but not in my 30s.

This morning, during my visit with my parents, my mother gave me a McDonald's styrofoam cup filled with unsweetened iced tea. I put the cup on the side table and took the straw out of it's paper sleeve and inserted the straw into the cup. Pretty basic right? Well, not for me. The cup decided to leap off the table, do a half flip in mid-air and spill all of it's contents (ice, lemon, tea, straw) onto the floor. Not one drop of tea was left in that cup.

I was furious. Why the f*** does this kind of s*** happen to me? ALL THE F***ING TIME?!

I burst into tears. How am I ever going to become a 30-something that people take seriously if all I do is fumble with words and objects?

My mother saw me crying and told me to stop it because this wasn't an occasion to shed tears. I explained to her that it was more than just the iced tea. It was about being taken seriously. About being a grown-up.

My mom told me again to stop it. Basically, she told me to shut up. She said that I have done something she has never been able to do. Live alone. She went on to tell me that she admired that I got my own place, moved out, worked, paid my own bills, took care of myself (cooking, cleaning, laundry, everything) and that I didn't have to rely on anybody for anything. My mom is scared if my dad passes away what she'll do to maintain the household. She's never paid a bill in her life and she's always depended on someone to help her out.

Her admiration made me feel really good about myself. And even though I'm moving in with Carlos, I spent the last four years taking care of myself with nobody's help. So I can go into that new phase of my life, knowing that I held my own and I can do it again if need be.